Another month has gone by and another Ovulation and monthly period has come and gone. I know I have a lot to be grateful for and that I am lucky that the pain is minimal, with an average of real pain days once a month. I am heaps better than I ever was before I changed to an all natural diet and am looking after myself. But….. somehow I am not getting past this stage. I still have Endometriosis and I still get occassional bouts of pain, like when I am very stressed or if I stray from my diet a little bit. I feel like I am only suppressing the severity of it all and that it still there. The diet certainly helps and we know that stress is a trigger but to me, this is not CURING Endometriosis but merely controlling it.
I know I should be grateful for where I am and that things are better than they have been for years but somehow it is not enough. I want a cure. I want to be gone with Endometriosis! Permanently and forever!
So, I need to do more. I need to find more answers and keep searching for real solutions to make that happen.
It is funny because I was totally fine with how I was doing with my Endo. I felt in control and like everything was working. Then, tonight we went out and met some new people. One of the girls I met had so many symptoms of a body which was out of balance. She had poor liver function, allergies and seemed to get infections easily and yet…. she was fine. Her body was fine. I was actually somehow jealous of her. She seemed so carefree and that she didn’t have anything that worried her or stressed her out. She could eat whatever she wanted and how no problems whatsoever! I felt like I was quite heavy and emotional in comparison – I know totally weird cos that is not how most people describe me! I felt this angry voice come up within me – life is unfair …. why me…. all that stuff! VERY ANNOYING!
Now, I know my big motivator is to find a cure and that I spend a heap of time reading up on what I need to do, to do this but at some stage I also want to still remain the light and positive person I am. Somehow all this restriction and control just contradicts that light and positive person in me. I know many of us struggle with this balance. At some stage, we still need to live and enjoy life. I know that my diet and what I put in makes a huge difference so it makes sense to stick to these things but at what stage have we gone too far?
To me it becomes a question of time and to just try harder and look deeper. It is funny because it is only when I experience a little bit of pain again that I really become insistent to get rid of it forever. I have come so far with my healing and though I have had to be strict with my diet and what I do, I wouldn’t change it for anything as I have totally gotten results from doing it! I guess I just want to see MORE. More results, more indicators that things are getting better and less and less symptoms of imbalance in my body. I just need to find more.
I know for many of you out there, it is often at this stage where we want to give up. I mean really…. we have cut out so many things out of diet, followed doing yoga, meditation, exercise and leading a stress free life…. what more could we possibly do? Thing is, there is always more to try and more and deeper understanding of the body and how it works to explore. To me, this is just more motivation to keep at it and to keep trying things to find a real cure. A total cure. It is exciting and it is rewarding to keep finding the information and to keep researching.
Life has been a little stressful the last few weeks – new job in a new place, so my pain has flared a little more… which indirectly is a benefit for us all – just more motivation to find some real answers and to find a cure for us all! 
I hope you are all doing better from the dietary changes in this blog. We can all get there – I will do my utmost to find it and prove that we can be cured!
Author of Cure Endometriosis & Eating with Mel.
Melissa, I know this response is coming a couple of months late, but I figured I’d respond anyway:)). I was diagnosed with endo a year and a half ago. Since then I’ve undergone two laparoscopies already. My most recent one was just 2 months ago. I’ve gone through so many up’s and down’s already. But I think…it is important that we give ourselves the moment to cry and “grieve” sometimes (I say “grieve” b/c sometimes that is just what it feels like). I think it is important that we acknowledge our emotions–sadness, anger, and, yes, even jealousy…but perhaps we shouldn’t give into them (hope that makes sense) I find the most destructive emotion is that of jealousy and envy, because I believe we can give other human beings the “bad eye”. So it can be a struggle with some of these negative emotions. I’m just happy that I am AWARE of them. For the past 2 months all that I’ve been praying for is a child. It was my Christmas wish
, but I don’t think it will come true. At least not just yet. And as I am praying, there are pregnant women all around me! I have heard about and met 4 women who told me they were expecting…all in the same week! And then I wonder–is this some sort of cruel joke? But I know the Divine is a compassionate Being and there is a reason why all of us are going through this. As I was reading your blog entry, the thought struck me: “it is not just what we go through in life. It is what we DO about the challenges we face.” We must live our life to the fullest. And that is precisely what you are doing by putting all of this information online for us 
.
On another note, have you heard of something called “green food”? Following my surgery two months ago, I have started incorporating this in my diet. There are many out there, but I am trying the Perfect Food, Garden of Life. I started by taking half a scoop and mixing it with green juice, like Naked. It has all kinds of ingredients in there–wheat grass, sprouts, and probiotics to name a few. My younger sister, who is pursuing a Masters in Science, has done some research about the good bacteria in our bodies. My understanding is that when the good bacteria are balanced in our bodies, they can help our immune system, heal our gut, and possibly more!–they are still researching to learn more about their benefits. The green food can heal our gut and bring our good bacteria back in balance. The individual who came up with the formula for this green food suffered from Crohn’s disease and healed himself completely! His name is Jordan Rubin. If you haven’t heard of him, you might want to look up his story on google. I still need to read more about him. Now THAT should be an inspiring story for all of us!
In addition to this, I am also taking basil seeds, called tukmaria or sabja seeds. I mix a teaspoon of these seeds in a glass of water and leave it overnight. Then I drink the entire contents the next day. The seeds will expand into this gray-ish color, and I am told it is best not to chew it, but to swallow it whole. These seeds are excellent for our liver and remove all the heat from our bodies, thereby assisting our liver functions!
Hope you’re all inspired this Christmas!! Much Love to all!!
Forgot to mention…if you are interested in trying the basil seeds, you can go to http://www.myspicesage.com and order some! Just look up “tukmaria”.
Thanks Melissa. You definitely reflect so much of our hearts. I really struggle when I see others who do not have consequences for their diet. Not that I want ANYONE to be sick. It’s just the “it’s not fair” feeling that overwhelms me. I’ve come so far in the emotional side of healing and reject those negative words …but…sometimes I relapse.
it’s such an encouragement to know so many are out there experiencing the same struggles. I am not giving up. 
day two…in some pain as I write…but still believing for a cure.
Thanks Kami! It makes me feel better knowing we are all in this together
Melissa – I wish I could give you a big hug! It would be so fun to meet up for lunch and talk, talk, talk about the things we’ve been through. Life is crazy, isn’t it? I can relate to what you’re going through — I thought these same things myself this past week. I get frustrated, mad even — that no matter what I do, I still have pain to some degree. Life is not fair, that’s for sure….
But realize this — you are not alone. We ALL are in this together — all of us Endo women! We can relate to each other and we will help each other — whether it be encouragement, support. research, knowledge — you name it. We are a team.
With a new job comes much stress. Change is hard. Take time out for yourself. Treat yourself like a queen — you are ever so special.
Sending you a big, big hug….from across the globe!!
Thanks Sweetie! I really needed that
It is great to know I have such good friends who I can share my experiences with and get support when I need it too! You are awesome and I can’t wait to catch – even in person one day! Change is stressful cos one is never really sure it is the right change! Lots of things in the pipeline – do you feel like a chat on the weekend?
Hi Melissa
Great blog entry- keep going! And I will too! The lady you describe was me 3 years ago. I was really care free! Didn’t associate ill health with myself at all…. however, little did I know that I actually had severe endo. I was just in denial about my real state of health. I just ignored the signs. It does catch up with you in the end. I wanted to ask if you were planning on doing something on molasses at all? I’ve bought some, but I have no idea how to use it! I know it’s great for calcium, especially if us girls don’t take dairy.
You are right, the irritation is telling us to keep going- we’ve come so far!
Thanks Tani and thanks for the encouragement! We have come so far and yes… we do need to keep going. I will ask James to come up with some recipe’s for Molasses for us. It is fabulous for us!