My story

This is a long one so make yourself a cuppa and maybe print it off for easier reading.

My name is Melissa. I have had Endometriosis for most of my adult life. I was born in South-Africa to German parents and lived in Johannesburg until I was 21.

My journey with Endometriosis began when I was only 16years of age. I had started my period within a normal range of about 12years old and had experienced period pain which gradually had gotten worse. Naturally, I didn’t think anything of it and even when I visited the Gynaecologist he simply indicated that it was okay to have period pain. I was not really aware that I had Endometriosis until I reached the age of 19.

When I was 16, I thought I had found the love of m life! He was an older boy of about 19 and I was so in love with him. He treated me well and I thought we were going to get married and have children together. I was very young and wanted to wait before I jumped into having sex with him and so we fooled around a fair bit but I could never quite cross that line. It was just scary to me and perhaps I had been warned by my mother not to have sex too early. Well, it was a year after we had met and he was going away with his friends on holiday. It was the first 2weeks we had been apart since we met. When he returned, he told me there was something he had to tell me. I remember meeting in a shopping centre over ice-cream. It was just such a horrible experience in my young mind….. He broke up with me and told me that he had, had sex with someone else while he was away on holiday. I was so heartbroken, I couldn’t control myself. I cried all the way home and then when he dropped me off, I just broke down in the driveway of our house and cried for hours. It had impacted me in a huge way and I became really angry. I was angry at myself for not sleeping with him and I was angry with men for only wanting me for sex and that I was not enough.

For the next 10years I resisted men and didn’t allow myself to really love them or get close to them. The memory of that night stuck with me and though I have only recently been able to reflect on this experience, I now realise that it was this event that created many of the psychological and emotional sides of Endometriosis.

After about 2years after my break-up, I developed a bladder infection. We were away on holiday in South-Africa’s Kruger National Park. It was incredibly painful and I could barely go to the toilet without screaming in pain. The drive back to Johannesburg was 5hrs and I remember it being the most agonising experience of my life. When we got home, I had a belly that was swollen like I was 3months pregnant and the pain was so bad, I could barely walk. I went straight to the doctor.

The doctor gave me a dose of anti-biotic tablets for my bladder infection, which slowly reduced the pain and discomfort of having stinging pee and a constant need to go to the toilet. Unfortunately, the pain on my left side did not go away. It was this dull ache that just lingered every day. It wasn’t severe but it was permanently there. I went back to the doctors and he said he would check for digestive issues. They performed an ultrasound and scan and took samples for analysis. They didn’t find anything conclusive, so they simply put it down to Irritable Bowel Syndrome. The doctor told me to increase my fibre in my diet and eat a more rounded diet. I had always eaten fairly well growing up but since being a teenager, I had started eating junk food quite regularly and drinking a fair bit. I cut out on junk food and began eating well again and reduced the partying and drinking. It helped a little but the pain was still there.

I remember lying in a bath, while visiting a friend and looking down on my body and somehow knowing that it was something to do with my “woman’s bits”. I had this horrible feeling come over me and I remember sitting in the bath and crying. I remember thinking; I am not going to be able to have children. I am not sure how I knew it was my uterus that was at fault and how it dawned on me that it was Gynaecological but somehow I just knew.

The next day, I booked in to see my Gynaecologist. By this stage, I am 21. I have spent the last 2years, coping with IBS??? Sure…. and eating better and trying to just cope with the pain. The doctors had no answers and no scans could reveal anything. I had this constant dull ache, which got worse with my period and yet, no-one seemed to have any answers.

So, off I went to the Gynaecologist. He was a Greek guy, I remember that and I remember him saying that the scan could still not reveal anything and that I would need to go for an operation. I was 21. Scary thought! He told me that they would simply go in and have a look and see what was going on. Well, they did look and then they decided to remove the scarring and cysts while they were in there. I thought this was it. I really did. I thought that all I needed was the operation and that then all the bad stuff would be taken out and never come back. It was like taking out my appendix or something. Well, nothing could be further from the truth…..

He decided to put me on Danazol. I was going travelling with my friend to Australia and he thought this would be a safer option for me to try. The dose was daily and it opened up possibility of side-effects like a deeper voice, acne and headaches. I felt like I didn’t have a choice in the matter and thought, “well he is a doctor, he should know best”. Well, I travelled through Australia for 7months and during that time, I experienced all sorts of pain and side-effects. I was also continuously spotting. I didn’t stop bleeding for the entire time. So, when I eventually got back, the Endometriosis had spread all over again. Yip, you guessed it another operation……

This time, I decided to go to a specialist. He was a Gynaecologist that specialised in Endometriosis. 80% of his clients had the condition and he had managed to get most of them pregnant, which was deemed a successful outcome for woman with Endometriosis. I remember going to him and him saying that all I needed to do was get pregnant and then all my problems would go away. I was single and very young and the idea of children had barely entered my mind. He said I should aim to fall pregnant by the time I reached 34. Ironically, I am 34 as I am writing this.

Anyway, so he set-up a time for another operation, to remove the scar tissue and cysts. He said, he was a specialist in this area and that most Gynaecologists were not able to see the scarring that easily. Often these cysts were not noticed and left and they would then get worse. I totally trusted him and counted myself lucky to have finally found someone who I thought knew what they were talking about. I believed him and everything he said and my relationship with him as a doctor became ingrained. After the first operation, he put me on Syndol, which is a nasal spray containing stuff that stops your pituitary glands from producing hormones. It was fabulous and it was the first time since I was 16 that I had experienced absolutely no pain. I thought he was a miracle doctor.

Then the 6months were up and I remember having a discussion of what my options were from there on in. He said the Syndol would be bad for my bones and that I couldn’t keep taking it. I loved Syndol and remember begging him to let me have more. I said I didn’t care about my bones, I was that desperate. The pain came back and much much worse than before.

Another operation.

We then tried a whole series of drugs and hormonal treatments. There are so many I honestly cannot remember them all. I remember that most of them just created spotting or side-effects like migraines and nausea which was too hard to cope with.

Finally, we settled on the contraceptive pill. It was a mini pill and I was to take it continuously and not have my period. I didn’t like the idea of this at first but then as the pain reduced and I was finally able to lead a normal life, I had restored faith in my doctor.

I had, had 5 operations in between and had tried everything under the sun to get rid of the pain. I was still having small bursts of pain when my period was supposed to happen but it was so nominal that I could quite easily carry on with life and not even know I had Endometriosis.

I moved to London and enjoyed a fantastic social life, which involved some heavy drinking, eating badly and really not looking after me all that well. Though I was on the pill, still on a continuous basis, I started to experience pain again. It was very mild and only really noticeable when I was having sex but somehow I didn’t feel that it was going away. I honestly believed this method of taking the pill continuously would make my endometriosis GO AWAY. How wrong was I?

I decided on my own steam to have another operation. Mainly to put my mind at rest as I tended to worry about it being Endometriosis and I didn’t want it spreading any further than it had been before. Well, the operation was performed by a doctor over in London and I received fantastic private health cover. They operated and found NOTHING….. No sign of Endometriosis. I couldn’t work it out. Why was I having pain again? Was there scarring that was causing it?

I decided to go back to South-Africa after living in London for 2years and get my “specialist” to perform another operation to make sure. After all he would know better how to find the Endometriosis, since it was his specialist. Well, he went in and once again found NOTHING. The Endometriosis was gone or so he said. He sowed me back up and that was that. Right?

Well, no Endometriosis does not go away from the pill or any hormonal treatments. It just diminishes the scarring and cysts and it eventually comes back.

I moved to Australia in 2003. I loved it. Australia is such a beautiful country with such warm and welcoming people. I remember taking a role as a coffee shop manager. It was my first role and I thought since I no longer had Endometriosis I could run a coffee shop quite well. My “specialist” gynaecologist had said to me one day that I should not attempt to take a role in hospitality, that it was too hard on my body and that I should give up my dreams to own my own coffee shop. I remember being completely thrown and that my whole life’s purpose had somehow been taken away from me because of silly Endo. Since, I now no longer had Endo, I thought FANTASTIC….. I can start my dream of owning my own coffee shop.

The pain came back. Slowly at first as I remember having tried to lose weight I was on a fairly good eating regiment. But, it did and I remember thinking. There is no way I am having another operation. The last one just was too much. It was not an option. I was stuck then. What could I do? Since, natural therapy and Traditional Chinese Medicine is much more publicised and commonly used in Australia, I thought….. Well I shall give this a try and if it doesn’t work within 6 months I will have to go for another operation. I went to a naturopath first. She put me on a very strict diet. It was incredibly effective. I wasn’t allowed chocolate or dairy, gluten or meat but I felt light and had no bloating or pain. It was brilliant. The pain was still there though, at certain times of the month and though I ate well, this didn’t seem to subside.

I explored my inner thoughts.

By this stage, I was desperate and I joined a group which claimed to be able to get rid of negative thoughts and diseases through releasing negative emotions. I was at a point where all the other methods had not worked and I was willing to try anything. It was a fantastic spiritual journey and taught me allot about myself and the anger and resentment I held towards men and life in general. I learnt to let things go. I learnt to let go much of my anger towards my mother. I learnt to let go my constant need to be perfect and to do better. It was hard to accept these things of myself and recognise that I was being destructive on myself and my body. It was affecting me emotionally which was illustrated in my bodies pains. I felt better, heaps better!

I remember having a fantastic day playing tennis in the Domain of Melbourne. Having my first day of my period and having NO PAIN. I was playing tennis! Running around with my period and didn’t experience anything. It was amazing! I had been drug free – not even headache tablets – for 6months and was eating really well. The combination of emotional healing and physical healing had worked brilliantly!

I decided to ensure my healing was complete and visited a Traditional Chinese Doctor. It was horrible tasting stuff but my goal was to be completely Endometriosis FREE.

I was Endometriosis FREE for 4years! Fabulous! No pain and no side-effects for 4years!

I then met James, the love of my life. It was 2006. I had not been on the pill for 4years and since we were dating, I thought I would go back on the contraceptive pill. We were so in love and I remember the joys of being able to have sex without any pain. It was so wonderful! Well, I didn’t understand why I was taking medicines and what they were actually trying to achieve. I went to Chinese Doctors and did what they said and when it worked, I stopped and went back to my old ways. I went to a naturopath and listened to their advice on what to eat and then when it worked, I stopped and so forth and so on. I didn’t understand what any doctor was doing with my body and how they were trying to heal my body. I simply listened to their advice and then followed it. This was fine, as long as I continued on their instructed path. Unfortunately, I didn’t and went back on the pill, not understanding what it would do to my body.

It was fine for 2years. No pain and no side-effects but then…… they came in one big mound of side-effects and problems. The pain started again slowly and then the side-effects. High emotions and nausea were the first signals. I remember having thoughts that Endo had come back but that I didn’t want to acknowledge it. I didn’t want to have to go for another operation. I went to a Gynaecologist. He did the usual. Well, we cannot tell if it is Endometriosis from the scans, so we will have to perform a laparoscopy. I just cringed and decided to simply improve my eating and try and exercise more. Lucky for me, James is a chef and made me so many delicious and healthy meals! This was fine for a while.

James and I then landed a fantastic life changing role running a lodge in the Daintree of Australia. We ran a 4star lodge right in the middle of a rainforest! It was amazing! I absolutely loved the role and we worked incredibly hard to get it up to scratch. It was fairly run down when we got there and our goal was to bring it back to life. Which we did! The problem was, it grew really quickly! When we go there, there was only 10% occupancy and it gave us plenty of time to do other things. As the second year approached, we were loaded with bookings and it was only me and James running the lodge. There were 7 rooms, a restaurant and I had to do all the administration as well. This meant we were working 14hour days, 7 days a week.

My body started to show signs of breakdown. First, it was just getting tired allot. Then it was daily headaches. Then progressively it got worse and I had diarrea almost weekly. My headaches were so bad, I was taking headache tablets almost twice a day. My body was telling me to SLOW DOWN. I couldn’t. We were too busy to just stop and so I pushed myself for 7months of feeling bad, no rest and little care on my body. To cope I would often just drink the pain away. This of course made it worse! It was time to leave…….

So, we did and now James and I are living in New Zealand. We are still finding our feet and working out exactly what we want to do. James’s family are also really supportive lovely and New Zealand is so beautiful!

I am back on my path of natural recovery, but most importantly, I am learning about how the body works and why my previous attempts of healing were successful or not. I decided to post the information on this blog so everyone in the world can discover WHY we have the problems that we do and how NATURAL remedies actually work at healing the body. I want woman to understand why the contraceptive pill is so bad for the body and why any hormonal treatments don’t actually work at healing Endometriosis properly.

We can heal ourselves through natural remedies. We just need to understand how the body functions and how its natural balance can be repaired.

Thank you for reading my story. I hope I can help you make better choices for your body through the information on my blog.

Happy Health,